I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize