yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize