so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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