I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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