just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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