Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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