I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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