You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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