i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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