Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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