why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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