I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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