It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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