Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
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My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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