Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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