Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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