Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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