i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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