Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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