I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize