Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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