And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
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You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
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My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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