you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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