your parents love me but you hate me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
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"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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