Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize