i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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