the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize