I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize