Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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