FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize