If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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