i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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