can we get nightvision for the apartment?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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