i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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