Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.

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  (248): Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on. http://tfl.nu/7zdh
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...

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  (908): ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family.. (1-908): yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now... http://tfl.nu/humh
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  (510): View more from California

  Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.    

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  (510): Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.     http://tfl.nu/ot3m
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge

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  (505): I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge http://tfl.nu/o9mq
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  (650): View more from California

  I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.

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  (650): I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening. http://tfl.nu/kog8
  Replies (18) Good night (5845) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard

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  (203): whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard http://tfl.nu/amtb
  Replies (28) Good night (682) Bad night (3817) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.

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  (910): He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work. http://tfl.nu/wbkv
  Replies (18) Good night (5688) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?

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  (509): I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night? http://tfl.nu/36p9
  Replies (11) Good night (923) Bad night (1972) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?

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  (301): Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you? http://tfl.nu/njmw
  Replies (7) Good night (2207) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.

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  (865): Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america. http://tfl.nu/zhnq
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?

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  (727): You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you? http://tfl.nu/l34c
  Replies (31) Good night (2934) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  This is a rough morning for me

  (577): View more from

  No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.

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  (630): This is a rough morning for me (577): No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma. http://tfl.nu/q4hk
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (1044)
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  (845): View more from New York

  My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.

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  (845): My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine. http://tfl.nu/uhg6
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.

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  (410): Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences. http://tfl.nu/tv4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.

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  (989): She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it. http://tfl.nu/vpoa
  Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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