Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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