I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize