i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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