Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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