you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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