I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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