thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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