biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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