I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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