my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Couch. On fire.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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