I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
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I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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