I'm so fucking centered right now
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize