OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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