Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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