piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize